the crow

i've heard that edgar allan poe wrote a poem or something called the raven...i'm sure it must be very boring. i decided to make fun of it...but i didn't want to read it so i thought that i should make fun of it without ever reading it...that's why i'm an asshole. so anyhoo i came up with "the crow" two years ago...when i was a baby and nearly not unhappy enough to be taking drugs of any sort...i know the year because it belongs to a large group of "funny" poems from that time...sadly i signed it off without a mention of the year...but i know the year anyway so your mother can rest in peace. i sure hope real sex isn't like that. i don't really remember this poem...i haven't read it...excuse me while i do...




i saw this crow, this average crow,
he seemed quite average to me.
but then i noticed his giant man-balls...
hanging beneath him (absolutely free!)

i could not believe my eyes at first
a crow with a pack this size?
i almost thought for a second there
maybe it's john holmes in disguise! (note: john holmes was a pornstar with a 12-incher)

so he was passing over this wall of stone
and he was flying up there all alone

but he could not, in time, pull up his balls
and broke his testicles on the wall

it was a messy sight for all to see
as the poor crow died in pain
there's a lesson here for you and me
don't trust those penal enlargement ad's again

(if i were poe and had written "the raven"
it would have a large dick
and its balls would be shaven
a place with dirty limericks and jokes
would have been my favourite haven!)

yours truly,
edgar monkey poe


a poem from a happier time in the past...it was in fact soon after this happy period that i completely lost my mind...more or less...well at least i didn't smash kittens in walls like some people i know...i was more of a...lost boy. lonely as a bucket...like everybody else. how gay.
just keep touching yourself and wank those blues away...in anycase i could never have been able to print this poem in my school magazine...it was too obviously gross and adil would have flipped his sex change operation if i had brought crap like this forward...he already censored enough of it...although to be quite frank...since molly and i got screwed anyway...why did he bother? adil is a good boy...but only if he is rich enough to give me a job in the future...i don't think he knew what we were planning or he would have shot me or at least give me a french kiss...anything that'd kil me basically.

martin pale is not for sale
but he wouldn't say no
to another bucket of ale
martin pale is doomed to fail