hooooooorrrrrrllllllllllll

there...finally...we were on the otherside of the paindoo pass...but reluctant's car was nowhere to be seen. it was not going to be a very pleasant evening. stuck behind barriers waiting for a train to pass. a train that actually fell asleep right in front of us. i wonder if you can. no need for greed or hunger...but eventually it did fudge off...then so did we.
i remember listening to "battle of evermore" last night. there's a woman singing with plant...and they sing very well together...that's what sex should be like in a gooder world.
we were discussing a realm of death metal. an alternate universe or dimension where only members of death metal bands live. ok not just death metal...basically just metal bands...or relatively hardcore bands. there would, naturally, be two sides...not entirely good or evil...just different i suppose. on one side we'd have large warriors, huge sword wieldinging barbarians...clad in animal skin and horns and stuff..."more ale goddamnit!!" type people. one of the generals of the king would be peter steele...because he's bloody huge...and can rip off a man's head with his teeth.
the king...of course...would be michael akerfeldt...a wise king he would make...an elvish king. steve wilson would be sort of like merlin to akerfeldt. there will be constant neverending war in this dimension. if we imagine that this side...akerfeldt, the elvish king's side is the good side...then the evil side would be under maynard...the dark lord. alone...friendless...sauron ka baap. he alone is powerful enough to match the strength of all under the kingship of akerfeldt...he controls nature and darkens the sky. he is not large and barbaric like akerfeldt's viking/dashkara army. he's more like night personified. his voice can suck the hope out of your soul...and make you rip your eyes out. he can make anyone do anything...heretic, lord, insane, calculating...living in a castle of stone with no soft furniture...just cold, moist, dark...
tool's drummer would be the...black rider, nazgul type person. a great general of the darkside...unpredictable...none can catch him.maynard is the dark lord.
the patient. the song starts. everyone goes silent. looking out towards the horizon...a darkness spreads...maynard weaves his spell...you can almost hear him..."but i'm still right here...giving blood...keeping faith...and i'm still right here." and we watch the two armies march against one another. maynard fills the hearts of all present with a despair so strong that it matters not whether they live or die. you can see their pupils dilate in fear as they visualize the awesome might of the dark lord...they just want to get this over with. the dark lord sings his spell...reluctantly...as though it's not his fault that this dimension is plagued with a battle of evermore...as though he doesn't have a choice...and then he gets sick of the bullshit...the wrath of the lord is unleashed...the axe falls...the war reaches its peak. the crash of sword on shield...a war with no noise...initially there'd been insane drumming...as metallions from king akerfeldt's army drummed and chanted. victorious march. pursuit of the vikings...they will return. but now there's silent killing. a dark mist descends upon everything...maynard sings.
the two armies suddenly decide that they can't win...and go back home to come back another day. the war will not end.
the good side (although it's strictly relative) has all these gods...jimmy paige...robert plant...ozzy osbourne (sort of like loki or whatsit) bob dylan...wise among the otherworldly...jim morrison (he's metal enough in my mind)there's a lot of gods...i suppose dimebag has a place there.
metallica would be the banished god...the one who turned commercial and was sent to the outer stretches of the universe from where it shall return in the end of time when the final battle is fought between the light and the dark. metallica's first two albums were good...but then the band started becoming a cunt. whiskey in a jar is their vow of vengeance. (i know this is a load of horse shit but i came up with all this crap with pana when we were floating around insane so it's...shut up.)
two songs that all mortals should listen to...battle of evermore...because i find the girl's voice horrendously arousing...although as a general rule i don't care for girls singing...but this one...is yummy. this song would represent the light...the other song, the patient...by tool. would represent the dark. in some other mood these songs will be replaced...waiting for the eastern glow. itni sex awaz hai uss aurat ki...shit.

"defy the forest fire by kindling the rest of your friends." said i to pana lord knows what that's supposed to mean
we were discussing the moon. lying outside on the roof. and he says, " i was speaking scietficially..." he'd been pointing out how the light from the sun fell on the moon from only one direction...blah blooh...whilst i was going on about how the darkness was a blanket that light could delicately peel off as it took its place...or maybe just uncover the whatsit. otherwise the darkness would drown you. personally i don't really like sitting under the moon...scary...however it wasn't a full moon and there were clouds...
ringo starr won't be allowed in the metal realm...he was too crappy a drummer...john lennon might be something like bombadil. mark knopfler would be...just an old man who plays the guitar really well...he'd be the bard. incidentally guitars will be axes and swords...so knoplfer will be...something...although these guys weren't metal...but they're respectable enough to be counted...in which case we'd have to bring in a lot of other people as well...aa screw it...only metal bands...with a few exceptions.
note. all people will speak in growls.