sleep walking back again.
little black books hold all our secrets and there are two copies of each. one i have to myself...and the other i tore up and spread all over the freaking planet...i'm afraid that there is something seriously wrong with this sentence...sentences are made of words and words make up vocabularies and my devils have both...my devils are articulate little minions of doom who whisper in my ear and close my eyes...i'm not surprised...
my vocabulary must consist of eighty words...how many different arrangements of sentences and blahooey can i construct out of eighty words? in how many days does a human (if he tries) writes all that he is destined to. the other day i was talking about something...about music...how when somebody figures out how to play a guitar...or any instrument...imagine...a world without heaven. what? right so imagine...a person may learn to play a guitar...but in an alternate universe he learns to play the piano...and in another he learns to play the drums...and so on and so forth until all the universes are saturated...so now...imagine...he's really good...in each universe the music he plays is great...i don't like this anymore to be quite frank i don't like this at all...so i'll get back on track and leave this one unfinished...right so he plays all the instruments...in all the universes...and he makes music...different bits of music...combos...he makes different combinations and comes up with many different songs...what if we could somehow...extract all the music he could ever make...all of it...every little bit...we take all his music out...and we take all the music out of his altrnate universe buddies...and we combine all of this...what do we get?
last night i was walking around the dinner table...round and round...thinking about this exact point in time (but i was not sure of) when i was going to be here which is odd because it's just time...and time flows in only one direction...you can't go backwards or sideways...although if you did go sideways...that's intriguing...people always worry about going forwards and backwards...high hopes and stuff...but what if we go sideways...where do we go?
last night i was walking around the dinner table...round and round...i was in a lot of pain...my head felt like it was being squeezed...and my ears hummed...loud...annoying...lights flashed and i saw purpley blue hazey things if i closed my eyes...i have insanely wild closed eye vacations...i usually get to see a group of people eating a girl's face...it's not a cause for much concern...she seems to enjoy it. so i was in pain...and i walked around the table because i was afraid that if i slept i would not wake up again...it's an unreasonable fear that i did not have when i used to be religious...i mean back then all i wanted, was to die...because i was clean and there was nothing here for me...now i'm a wraith and i have nowhere else to go...at least if i do go somewhere i won't be welcome...and the only place where i will be welcome...i will not enter voluntarily...why do we do silly things when we know we're going to die? so i walked round and round thinking...wondering just like the last time and the time before last if i would be sane again...and i imagined there was water all around me...and i was walking round in a circle in a path where water could not come...picture walls of water running to my left and my right...picture water...the river daughter...i was afraid that i would touch the water walls by my sides...and by touching them break the strange force that kept them at bay...and i would drown...it was a strange thing to think...and it did not matter if i walked clockwise or counter clockwise...very unwise...i'm not really surprised...i walked for years. where did the years go?
naturally since i asked the riddle...i must've thought of some answer...to the first one i'd say silence...and the second would prolly be the cause of madness. the third one i'm still wondering about...where did the years go? i am twenty years old...what does it mean? it means i'm too old to do what i want to and too young to do what i want to.
much love and sobriety
martin pale (will now exhale)
my vocabulary must consist of eighty words...how many different arrangements of sentences and blahooey can i construct out of eighty words? in how many days does a human (if he tries) writes all that he is destined to. the other day i was talking about something...about music...how when somebody figures out how to play a guitar...or any instrument...imagine...a world without heaven. what? right so imagine...a person may learn to play a guitar...but in an alternate universe he learns to play the piano...and in another he learns to play the drums...and so on and so forth until all the universes are saturated...so now...imagine...he's really good...in each universe the music he plays is great...i don't like this anymore to be quite frank i don't like this at all...so i'll get back on track and leave this one unfinished...right so he plays all the instruments...in all the universes...and he makes music...different bits of music...combos...he makes different combinations and comes up with many different songs...what if we could somehow...extract all the music he could ever make...all of it...every little bit...we take all his music out...and we take all the music out of his altrnate universe buddies...and we combine all of this...what do we get?
last night i was walking around the dinner table...round and round...thinking about this exact point in time (but i was not sure of) when i was going to be here which is odd because it's just time...and time flows in only one direction...you can't go backwards or sideways...although if you did go sideways...that's intriguing...people always worry about going forwards and backwards...high hopes and stuff...but what if we go sideways...where do we go?
last night i was walking around the dinner table...round and round...i was in a lot of pain...my head felt like it was being squeezed...and my ears hummed...loud...annoying...lights flashed and i saw purpley blue hazey things if i closed my eyes...i have insanely wild closed eye vacations...i usually get to see a group of people eating a girl's face...it's not a cause for much concern...she seems to enjoy it. so i was in pain...and i walked around the table because i was afraid that if i slept i would not wake up again...it's an unreasonable fear that i did not have when i used to be religious...i mean back then all i wanted, was to die...because i was clean and there was nothing here for me...now i'm a wraith and i have nowhere else to go...at least if i do go somewhere i won't be welcome...and the only place where i will be welcome...i will not enter voluntarily...why do we do silly things when we know we're going to die? so i walked round and round thinking...wondering just like the last time and the time before last if i would be sane again...and i imagined there was water all around me...and i was walking round in a circle in a path where water could not come...picture walls of water running to my left and my right...picture water...the river daughter...i was afraid that i would touch the water walls by my sides...and by touching them break the strange force that kept them at bay...and i would drown...it was a strange thing to think...and it did not matter if i walked clockwise or counter clockwise...very unwise...i'm not really surprised...i walked for years. where did the years go?
naturally since i asked the riddle...i must've thought of some answer...to the first one i'd say silence...and the second would prolly be the cause of madness. the third one i'm still wondering about...where did the years go? i am twenty years old...what does it mean? it means i'm too old to do what i want to and too young to do what i want to.
much love and sobriety
martin pale (will now exhale)
posted by Duck at 12:06 PM
1 Comments:
nicely done :)
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