stepping bone

last night was ridiculously pointless. pana and i spent hours...and i mean that...hours...trying to growl like michael akerfeldt (opeth).

there is a song called, "serenity painted death" which has this bit that goes like so...

white faced haggard grin, this serenity painted death...
With a halo of bitter disease, Black paragon in lingering breath

pana and i raped our throats into labour by trying to growl...i suppose i'm too old to learn how to growl...on the other hand we tried to sing "face of melinda."..i think the only audible thing in that recording is me laughing for a minute and then end.

didn't sleep all night...i was busy being an idiot...had an interview thing with the trg people...i was kind of hoping that they'd tell me that i can't fake an accent and not hire me...but when i met the other...hopefuls...i dropped the accent altogether...i still passed the test...however there is still one thing left...if i fail the audio recording tomorrow...i'll have an excuse for not having to work...but then we might not ever afford drums...the things i do for a band that will never be. it's insane...completley deluded...i honestly believe that by working at trg i could make enough money to leave pakistan...and go live in sweden...where opeth breathes. although honestly...we checked out bathory last night...and opeth definitely...does...seem to be inspired...by bathory...not that it's a problem...the band admits to it...akerfeldt is cooler beyond human imagination...
anyhoo...the trg people offered me an editorial job...i didn't ask them what it was...i just said the first thing that came inside my head, "yeah sure..." in all honesty the woman looked surprised...she seemed genuinely shocked that i had said yes...which either means that the work will be to edit cows or i'll be paid in test tubes. later when i came to my senses...and realized that english is not my mother tongue and "yeah sure" can lead to a lot of trouble...i asked the woman if i might get paid much for the job...apparently i have to go tomorrow morning to find that out...
naturally i can't do a day job...i sleep during the day...normally.
in the application...they asked me if i had ever been reprimanded for any disciplinary reasons in school...i ticked "no" and then agreed to the license agreement that says that the information i have put down is true to the best of my knowledge...
they had wierd questions...like, "what are you career aspirations?"
so i wrote that i wanted a job that i could keep whilst continuing my studies (hahaha) i said i intended to make loads of money and stuff...quote ungoat
i had a typing test too...in case they want to make me a bitch...apparently my typing speed is 41 words per minute and my accuracy is 96%...take that crummy Alevels and all those medical colleges that didn't want me...96%!!!!!!!! yes that's really sad.
in anycase...if i'm lucky...they'll come to their senses and throw me out...and soon.
i have been listening to this goddamn thing for an hour...can't take any more...
i felt honestly retarded during the whole screening process...i have no knowledge of anything around me...i know far too much about middle earth and too little about the global economic scenario...smart people don't get jobs in trg...smart people go to lums...and show off their fancy fcuk shirt...so's i can make the good fun of them...have to go meet buttar soon...i'll call him and fix a date for us...if i meet the reluctant band member...we might go watch some pea cocks...
a relatively old boy...a hopeful contender for the trg trip...asked me what sort of music i listen to...i told him...and he started on about how he thought kurt cobain killed himself because of drugs...(which is news to me...i thought his wife killed him!!) so anyhoo...he was ranting on about how "lsd" can really mess you up...and so many musicians died young etc...so i looked up and asked him if he had tried lsd...he started laughing..."no ofcourse not...hahaha have i tried lsd...hahahaa...no man but i've read up on it a lot...it affects your brain in such a way that if you want to go somewhere you can feel like you're there just by thinking about it...and there are a lot of hallucinations and stuff...very messed up."
and then he told me about how people who take "churs" do it to write and stuff...because it enhances concentration and stuff...then he made fun of the fact that i was naive enough to ask him if he had tried acid...
this is a game i'll enjoy playing for a long time...he was balding and referred to his mother as "mummy." he had more work experience than i have...because i have none...but see i keep my mouth shut when everybody's talking in a language i don't speak.
my throat feel like a picture scratched by a fork...nobody can growl like akerfeldt...he is king of growling...
i asked my khala what the colour of her eyes is...it has fascinated me for years...she said it was "green brown." that's an odd combination that i don't generally see in eyes.
i crapped a lot on my application...they asked me to describe myself...i said that "considering the fact that this is the biggest paragraph i have written in this application...i obviously think too much of myself."
sometimes it frightens me how bad a person i could've been if my parents hadn't brought me up right...i mean...as right as they did...i only lost sight of the path once it was apparent that now it was my problem and not theirs...i have a proved an ungrateful bastard...too bad i guess...my shoes are nearly two years old now...i think...yeah i need new shoes...but they don't sell the kind of shoes i'm looking for...
i have laughed a lot...i'm afraid that you come here with a quota of laughter and i'm going to run out of it...that would be a shame...my eyes are bloodshot and i look like i died yesterday...
children will go and play now!!!
i saw smarter people than me leave just because they had accents like mine except that they couldn't hide it...in real life...i sound like someone who would have sex with cows...
childen will go eat their food now!!!