Doctor Fall

Doctor Fall sat in his office from 8 in the morning till 5 in the evening…mainly because that’s what he got paid for. A couple of patients now and then were the reason why he still kept this rather boring job. He was getting old…he could feel it…his once able hands now found it difficult to unbutton his shirt sleeves…but that’s all OK…he was still needed and had not been replaced.
One Tuesday…a visitor turned up just as he was about to pack up and call it a day.

“doctor Fall…there is someone here to see you…” said the nurse. The nurse was a man…but not quite and seemed relatively feminine. Doctor Fall did not know…had he known…he would’ve discontinued touching himself whilst picturing the nurse doing stuff to him…he was a frustrated old man…nearly all old men are. Old men would indifferently pinch a nineteen year old’s ass…because hey…what’re you gonna do?? Bitch!

“Send them in dear…” said Doctor Fall to the nurse. Feeling the old machinery wheezing off to a relatively painful start...he winced and then tried to relax. He had problems.

A man came into the office…wiped himself clean and then addressed the doctor in a frantic whisper…as though worried somebody might hear him…

“my child is very ill…I do not know what is wrong with him…you must come with me doctor…money is no object…it is an obscure abstraction of our waning conscience…needless to say I can pay…but don’t play this game for too long…I implore you…my child needs your help.” said the man.

“I see…hmmm…I see that you are worried…I will accompany you post haste…but I should warn you…I am an old man…running is not what I have in mind…and you must banish the thought from yours lest I be the one who ends up needing medical assistance…”

“Don’t you have a car???” asked the man


The ambulance or “the dirge mobile” as it was commonly known by the townsfolk screeched to a halt in front of a shabby sort of house across the park where the annual harvest festival was held. The house seemed to be of the sort that had been at one time an impressive building…now a bit forlorn…time takes a little time and everything is alright.

“Hurry doctor…hurry…” said the man as he ran up the porch stairs and opened the door.

“I am coming…” said the doctor as the hooker sucked him off in the backseat.

“Not funny goddamnit…yelled the man…my wife would do the same if you just help us.”

“I know…and I’m sure…anyway…how old is the child?” asked the doctor as he walked up the stairs and accompanied the other gentleman inside. zipping up his pants...his thingy snagged on the whatsit but he didn't seem to care...it'd prolly grow back...he thought.

“it has been but two weeks since the lord blessed us with a child…after two years of marriage…and a lot of..er..humping…I finally managed to knock my wife up…she didn’t seem pleased at first but once she realized she was not having her periods…she thanked me over and over again…”

a vase came flying from a room within the house and barely missed the gentleman’s skull smashing to pieces on the wall behind him.

“THAT IS A LIE YOU FILTHY OLD CODGER!!” yelled a woman.

Inside the room the doctor and the gentleman found a grieved looking woman sitting beside an infant’s cot…fanning the child furiously with the lid of a cooking pot. A bit of sniffling and squealing could be heard as there was a pig wrestling contest going on next door.
The doctor took a look at the child and instantly decided his course of action.

“I’ve seen this sort of thing once before…when I started out as a waiter…a cook in the establishment where i was employed, served a party of four with something quite in likeness to this...in fact it was exactly what pushed me into this career…however it has been a long time since I performed such an act…and I might not be able to recall the entire procedure correctly…nevertheless…I must try…for the sake of a potentially peculiar anecdote to be told in front of the firelight in the future.” said the doctor in a solemn voice.

“Is there something you would like me to do?” asked the gentleman. His wife had left the room and was puking ferociously somewhere close by.

“yes…If you could close the door…your wife is annoying…and I’d rather not think about what she’s doing now…considering what she’ll be doing later…also...there is a band called SWANS that i'm particularly fond of...if you could...just...play this here tape...”

“Right…” said the gentleman closed the door and pulled up his sleeves after pressing play to a tape of the most unearthly noise.

The baby was like a baby should be in appearance…nice looking…white if you prefer white babies…black if you prefer black…yellow if you’ve got jaundice. It had relatively large eyes oozing with puss of the most repulsive sort that smelled so bad that it explained relatively well why the woman was puking her innards. Tiny nose…tiny lips…two arms two legs…a couple of hips…it was all there.

“Does it have testicles?” asked the doctor, but did not wait for an answer…and gave the following instructions to the gentleman… “here’s what I want you to do sir…grab this little bastard’s head…and keep it fixed in one spot…do not under any circumstances let it move about…I’ll try to be quick…ok…now grab it…GRAB IT.”

The gentleman grabbed the infant’s head and held it fixed…meanwhile the doctor took out a pair of pliers from his medical kit…
Doctor Fall…bent over the child…felt it breathing…poked it in the eye with one finger…gently at first…then a bit harder…until with a faint pop, puss flowed out of the orb and covered the child’s sides…the child was not struggling or seemingly in any pain…doctor fall then poked the pair of pliers in the child’s eye…felt the softness of the orb...it being squeezed between the metal jaws of his instrument…like a small alligator the pliers bit and the jaws were shut tight…the doctor pulled hard and yanked out the baby’s eye…one at a time. The child screamed and struggled and naturally died of pain.

“What was the bloody point of that doctor??” asked the gentleman…his face a ghastly hue...completely at a loss...he didn't know what to do...his child was dead...too much was going through his head to feel any emotion in particular...but an insane messy muddle of a bit of everything.

“I don’t know…I just feel a bit frustrated…er...don’t nobody know my troubles but God.”