Mister Sell

Mister Sell sat outside his place of residence or at least the building which used to be his place of residence. His head in his hands and his forearms on his knees…he was a mess...sobbing like a bitch…he was pretty down in the dumps…he had murdered too many people and was slightly gassy. Plus it was cold and it was about time he stopped moping around and found some newspapers and such to keep himself warm with. But alas no need…the peace keeping squad of people who maintained order and discipline had arrived… (t.p.k.s.o.p.w.m.o.a.d)

“Mister Sell…you are under arrest…please take your pants off…we would like to ridicule you publicly before we throw you in jail to be sodomized repeatedly by large men who may consider you the equivalent of a young girl…you have the right to remain silent…but we all like a bit of squealing after dinner time…it reminds us of the pig wrestling contests we used to have…”

“I did not do anything wrong…” screamed mister Sell…terrified.

“you just killed your entire family…then called us and admitted to everything…we checked out your vocal patterns and compared them with the ones we have in our archives…plus we have a small undetectable video recorder stuck to your forehead that gave us footage of you committing at least seven horrendous crimes…including touching a cat…until it died…how do you plead?”

“By crying, screaming, falling on my knees, groveling and drooling all over so nobody would touch me…but I see that I’m pretty much screwed…so…why don’t you just get on with it?”

“listen…you seem like a lunatic…if you plead “not guilty” on grounds of being a whack job…we might not hurt you as much…”

“Hell no…I’ve heard stories about Susie the horse…I’ll take my chances with the inmates.”

It was generally known that people who tried to pull a fast one and claim temporary insanity or something of the sort were generally forcibly tied in a barnyard where a large male horse (affectionately called Susie) would then hump their asses to smithereens. Mister Sell had committed multiple homicides and almost an infinite number of spermicides in his lifetime…claiming insanity would mean getting boned till he could taste cock in his mouth. Also nowadays they could inject you with fertility drugs that could make you pregnant whether or not you had a vagina…after impregnation a prisoner (usually male) would be flown off to some distant land where resources were scarce and help impossible to find…it would then be made sure that the prisoner did not die except during child birth…since men did not have a suitable opening to shoot a kid out of…they usually died a nasty and painful death. Naturally…all of this was recorded via hidden cameras and stuff…the prisoner was ridiculed and the sound of laughter of a billion or more viewers would be transmitted to a chip inside his head. It was a simple time of barbaric rituals…just a bit more complex than the Chinese water torture routine…and far more interesting.

Mister Sell was unceremoniously dumped into a prison cell and within twenty four hours he was covered in splotches of bodily fluids…his holes felt a bit more loose…and his eyesight was gone…mostly because one guy had a eyehole sex fetish…once this large person was done with Mister Sell…he laid back and lit up a cigarette…

“So…what’re you in for???” asked the inmate.

“I’m…I’m repetitive…and an accountant…” replied Mister Sell

“Hey…me too.” said the inmate. “We’d be great friends if you didn’t bleed so much.”

“It’s not my fault…I don’t have eyes and I’m dying I think…a lot of pain too...can I get…like a doctor or something?” asked Mister Sell.

“Oh sure…we have this excellent resident doctor…he patched me up my first time…no wait…I don’t remember…but anyway…wait I’ll call him on his cell phone…” said the inmate, took out a cell phone…standard issue to older prisoners… “Hello? Yes…this is prisoner no. 1114…a prisoner is feeling a bit off…yes…prisoner no. err…what’s your number…oh ok…yeah prisoner no. 11929…yes please…if you could send Doctor Fall right away…yeah ok thanks bye.”