rat fart.

And when it all just fades away to nothing
Turns the whites in your eyes to dust
The glitter of all those worldly possessions
Falls victim to the heavy hand of rust

But I can wait and I have done that
And I will do so until you arrive
When I have nothing else left to live for
You’ll be the reason why I’m still alive.

how pleasantly gay is that??? somebody will die of diabetes...crap. first it was a blow job for the economists and then a blow job for an illusion...suck on that for a while. bile.
i find solace in the word solace because that's what it's for...this was for toying with the general public and making sweet love to the antarctic...cold. cathartic. where did i read this word? tea party...band...music...haw haye...devil worshipping sons of bitches. i want to see the sun's bitch. i guess you're it when you decide to go live in the sahara...cricket...lost interest...pakistan/india...lost interest...financial mathematics...simple interest...no interest...no need to lose it...please...are you trying to shit with me? please take another sheet. and fill it up before you leave. shit shit shit...this is never going to end if i don't go to sleep...study eco...now you follow me. market...depending upon area and time...a place where buyers and sellers come and have a cup of tea. pinkies raised...symbolising fertility in whatever...lies.
my father asks me if he has to pay the tutor extra for six more days if he teaches for six more days...
labour = physical or mental exertion for the sake of monetary rewards...or you know what. going to school is not labour...it's just dumb...go sit in a class full of armpits and you're still the cleanest one after not bathing for a month...wish it were a joke...maybe in lums it is...but in skans...it is not...living, breathing, pile of old socks and jockstraps. not that bad...just bitter.
average cost, average variable cost, marginal cost, marginal revenue...no...no i just wrote this to help me remember...i'm in a hurry actually...this is the only time i'm up for praying...got to go pray...when i come back...i'll know what to do...fart.
yesterday a boy much smarter than me asked me if i enjoyed toying with people...of course not...what nonsense is that? which one of you squealed? martin? savage? peter? muk...feck.
kidding. there used to be this programme...father ted...it's one of the funniest things i have ever seen. apart from the mental image of my uncle leaving tiny turd piles with a single flower resting upon each, for my grandmother to find. he is somewhere in his late sixties...he doesn't do it anymore. what does " ; " do?
once or twice i thought about taking those pills...maybe i wouldn't wake up feeling like a bunch of people just beat the shit out of me with sticks...burning arms...heavy breathing...sensitivity to touch...of any sort. nausea...blah blooh. everything is an issue with this guy.
pretty boys get off easy. my people feel the sharp sting of fresh orange juice on shredded lips. bitter? what did i do yesterday...last night i watched this movie...the big white...every single actor in this movie was excellent...the director was practically flawless...and yet there was something missing...i mean it was a nice movie...but at the very end...i felt as if my time had been wasted...and somewhere in the middle i thought...what now? somewhere in the middle of something else i decided to leave because i was bored...i mean how long can you sit shelling peanuts when you know you're not going to be the one who eats them...? i don't like peanuts...unless they're salted...or covered in chocolate...i prefer the chocolate without.
i was telling the doctor about mind virginity. when you lose it...it's gone...time doesn't bring back mind virginity...maybe a swift kick to the crown with an iron shoe could...but not time.

But I can wait and I have done that
And I will do so until you arrive
When I have nothing else left to live for
You’ll be the reason why I’m still alive.

nope...not gay at all...just the after taste is bitter.

i get sprinkled with holy water a lot. my mother thinks i need it...depression...she asks me who has depression with God around? i have absolutely no idea. with nothing going on i have more to talk about than the average cost, average fixed cost, marginal cost, marginal revenue and we're back...goddamn economics and maths...hellfire and the 8th primary colour. my flesh feels tasty...i don't know why...i was scratching a bit of my leg and then i grabbed a bit of it and i ealised that it would taste really really good...a bit of garlic...some tomatoes...peas...onions...vinegar...i love vinegar. you can never have too much vinegar in your chicken when you're standing alone in the kitchen at night...really hungry...frying chicken...i love cooking chicken...especially naked chicken. hahahahaha. pepper...lots of pepper...you can't go wrong with pepper...just enough salt...not too much...i'm hungry now.

last night i thought i should smoke. i smoked. i decided to not smoke. i put the cigarette on its end...vertical you know...and i read a bit more. i hate the smell of cigarette smoke when i don't want it. it's sick...it makes me sick...sick sticks...satan's dildo is what cigarettes are. so i hissed "shut up" at it. after a while it did...and yet nobody believes that i'm gifted with juicy fruits.